Update: crazy Gizmo

First of all: a big THANK YOU to everyone who helped us with the whole “Gizmo gone insane” issue. After lots of tiring discussions and panic attacks, last Wednesday we decided to take Gizmo to his first obedience class.

We opted for an obedience and agility course at Luxol Grounds. Gizmo’s agility is without a doubt his strong point: stealing knickers and socks from the laundry basket without anyone noticing until his tail starts wagging at full speed and he starts running across the living room… that’s what he does best. Obedience, well that’s a different story…

We arrived at Luxol (an enormous parking lot) expecting to find a small group of dog lovers, but much to our surprise there were tons of people. The dogs were subdivided into groups, each led by an experienced trainer (ours was something like “pre pre beginners”… need I say more?).

The school is run – I was told – by an ex-police dog trainer. And I think that description matches the stern little man we met as soon as we arrived: he grabbed our dog’s choke chain and told us we “got it all wrong”. Ok, we had bought the new choker literally four hours earlier so yes… we did probably get it all wrong. Then all the newcomers (about 15 in all) were told to stand in line with their dogs beside them. Not Gizmo, though. He had never seen that many dogs at once and couldn’t refrain from scanning the entire parking lot, sniffing around, licking his classmates and wagging his tail, of course…

Andre’ and I were asked to decide which one of us would be Gizmo’s master. Since I spend more time with him, I told our trainer I wanted to give it a shot. Bad, bad idea! Gizmo is strong, very strong. And big, no, enormous. So to avoid sending me home with purple hands and tense muscles, I only got to do part of the exercises: no zigzagging between dogs, but simply walking in a straight line, for example. And he wasn’t allowed anywhere near the other dogs during the walking exercises… too much distraction! At one point, he decided he needed a wee during training... just to make mummy turn bright red...

After talking to the trainer, who advised Andre’ to take over as Gizmo’s master, I returned home with sore hands and extremely painful shoulder blades… and a sense of defeat. However, yesterday Andre’ bravely took Gizmo to his second lesson and while I stood in a corner I thought to myself: “Look at my boys turning into men…” And all was well once again…

In the car Andre' told me there was a small incident, though. Gizmo kind of exposed his private parts (he just couldn't bear all the excitement) and the trainer told Andre': "Get your dog some underwear next time!" That's our Giz...

Gizmo will become the greatest dog in the whole world… or within a 100-m radius… He can do it!

Help: crazy Gizmo on the loose!!

As many of you know, about a year ago Andre’ and I decided it was time for the next step in our relationship… We had just bought our beautiful apartment and wanted it to feel like home. Babies are definitely part of our “plan”, but we wanted a “test baby” first and so on a sunny day in March 2008 Gizmo walked into our life and home. Little did we know a baby would’ve been the easier and cheaper option.

We immediately fell head over heels for our chubby black labrador retriever with mischievous eyes. He was the only one of the bunch hiding under the sofa, falling asleep on his uncle Jason’s hand and looking at us with that adorable grin we now identify as the “don’t-leave-me-on-my-own-or-I’ll-destroy-whatever-I-can-find” look.

The first weeks were hell, but we didn’t mind. It was, after all, a new adventure we had been looking forward to. No matter how often we used to walk him, Gizmo would pee and poo all over the apartment, proudly looking up at his masters after every one of his many toilet breaks. Meanwhile, he’s learned our home is not a 130 sqm public toilet, but some of his bad habits remain.

Gizmo likes chewing. He chews everything, from shoes (including my favourite Morgan stilettos) to chairs, quilts and carpets. His most impressive and expensive chew toys so far include a mobile phone, Andre’s passport (much to the amusement of the public servants who had to replace it for him two days before he was due to leave on a business trip), a remote control, two pairs of glasses and my lemon tree.

Another issue is his jumping craze. He’s always liked jumping up at visitors to express his joy at welcoming them into our (or should I say “his”?) home, but lately he’s become like a high jumper, aiming for our face and trying to attack joggers in the garden.

Walking is supposed to be the easiest thing to teach a lab according to our specialised book… We’ve tried all possible chains, collars and harnesses on the market, nothing seems to stop Gizmo from dragging us along. I weigh only a few kilos more than him, so walking him is quite a feat, to say the least. Once I was nearly hit by a car, another time I fell and bruised my leg.

Despite what everyone thinks, we really do try to train him. We scold him whenever he does something we disapprove of, but somehow he just won’t understand. He thinks it’s all a game… and every chase and punishment turns into a face-licking session. We’ve heard of obedience classes in Malta being organised on Wednesday evenings, but to be honest we’re exhausted after a day of work and the last thing we want to do is break an arm trying to keep Gizmo from chasing all his “classmates”.

Any tips or ideas? Any similar experiences? Help us, we’re at our wits’ end…