Malta? That would be... somewhere in Europe?

Many people have no idea where Malta is. I must admit that I had no idea when I first heard about it... this being a few years ago. “Is it an island near Portugal?” I asked Andre’. Needless to say, I immediately ran off to the bookshop to gather some reading material on the enlargement of the EU, to avoid any further embarrassment and painful silences.

When I moved here, I didn’t really know what to expect. Holiday island, sunny and hot all year round? 316 square km of claustrophobia-inducing rocks? Overcrowded building site?

Let’s see… Holiday island? Check! British tourists strolling on the beach wearing shorts, long white socks and sandals in January, when temperatures can easily plummet to 7 or 8°C… How to spot them, apart from their inappropriate wardrobe? Just follow the purple legs, yellow caps and sun lotion scent!

Sunny and hot all year round? Now there’s a myth! Ever tried sleeping in a room without air conditioning (or any form of heating for that matter) covered in humid sheets (that’s an understatement, make that: wet and clingy sheets)? Weather-wise, this year has been the worst so far… End of March and still waiting for the sun to shine through our 5-m patio doors! And we bought sunblock blinds and a sun lounger just a few weeks ago… should’ve spent that money on flannel duvet covers instead!

316 square km of claustrophobia-inducing rocks? Yes, that’s right: 316 square kilometres. Hard to believe? It’s really not THAT small… And no, you can’t walk round the island in one day. Rocks: we’ve got loads of those. They come in the form of cliffs, beaches, carved-out (potholed) roads… quite fascinating, I must say, considering I had never even seen a rocky beach before moving here. Claustrophobia? Nowhere in sight. There are so many ways to counter the “island feeling” (you know: “I’m surrounded by water, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide”): boat trips to Gozo, a drive in the countryside (yes, we even have that!) or simply a one-way trip to the airport.

Overcrowded building site? Unfortunately. Cosy houses of character exuding history are making way for modern high-rise condominiums with state-of-the-art facilities at an unimaginable pace. The result: we’re surrounded by sand, cranes and noisy workers. Ah well, Andre’ and I actually bought a brand-new flat in the centre of real estate heaven, so maybe I’m not in a position to criticise…

Trust me, life IS beautiful here. I would never move back to Northern Europe. Like every country, Malta has its flaws… but what beats pastizzi and Kinnie at Cordina on a sunny Sunday morning? Hmm, maybe lemon meringue at Fontanella… You get the picture!