Health and safety... sort of

Malta has a track record second to none in health and safety compliance. A few examples of Maltese craftsmanship:
1. How to paint a façade: attach a wooden beam (preferably recycled, we wouldn’t want to waste any precious old doors and pieces of furniture) to two ropes. Get someone (well, preferably two persons, but one will do) to hold the ropes on the roof and slowly (or quickly, depending on how hot it is) slide down the wall. Meanwhile, attempt to paint it. I have witnessed such acrobatic leaps on several occasions and now fully understand why the death toll for construction workers is always on the rise…
2. How to install a wall-mounted toilet with hidden cistern: this design craze is hardly easy to install, as it requires installing the cistern in the shaft, passing the piping through the wall and connecting it to the external drainage system. In short, get someone to hold your feet, or just keep them up in the air while hanging upside down in a narrow shaft, with no support whatsoever. Every time I look at my toilet, I wonder how the plumber managed to install it without killing himself…
3. How to dispose of construction waste: get an enormous skip, leave it in the middle of the road – while illegally blocking traffic of course – and toss anything in (including metal beams and bricks). Don’t worry about pedestrians, they’ll move!
Joking apart, ten days ago there was a horrible fire at Pender Place. Luckily no one was injured, but many apartments had to be evacuated. A few weeks before that, a crane toppled over, nearly causing a catastrophe, as this happened in a densely populated area, close to a school. Electricity cables hang loose in the middle of the pavement, for anyone to touch. Helmets are optional, as are safety shoes and clothing. Working hours are not respected, not to mention basic human rights… Illegal immigrants are paid a fraction of the minimum wage... And the list goes on… I always tell the Maltese: for things to change, you’ve got to make a small effort yourself, because every little helps. When I see something fishy, I talk to the local wardens… who look at me with a suspicious grin. Nevertheless, I’ve done my bit. If only others did the same…