Thursday, July 30, 2009

I'm back!

Dear readers,
Sorry for the delay. My brother paid us a surprise visit and we were “busy” enjoying the summer heat, the beaches and each other’s company. Now I’m back with weekly updates... enjoy!

Let’s kick off with a few follow-up notes:

1) The signposting issue at the garden: after yet another argument with two idiots who claimed they were “environmental wardens”, we contacted the local council again and ten days later, there they were: brand-new signs allowing our black beast into the garden, free to chase birds, scare off cats and poo and pee under every tree. Gizmo’s thrilled!
2) The waste collection problem: our bags are still picked up a little later than usual, but we work our way around that by putting them outside around noon, the best way to get rid of all the cockroaches invading the pavement...
3) Yet another fault: yesterday Melita broke down, not GO. The times are changing.

Now I’d like to offer you a full immersion into the secrets of Maltese summers.

Usually I go abroad, but this year I’m staying on the rock for lack of funds, courtesy of our new sofa, which SHOULD be delivered next week (one week before the agreed date, wow!).

Maltese summers are hot and by hot I mean boiling. Last weekend the temperature went up to 41.5°C. Since we don’t have A/Cs yet, I sought refuge in the shops round the corner and I ended up buying a DVD player. Hot weather = recovering economy.

The beaches are always packed, everywhere. The only way to avoid crowds, is to arrive on the beach at around 8 am at the very latest and leave around noon. As many people stay out late in the evening, they’re not so keen on waking up early. This “trick” resulted in many great mornings in Paradise Bay, Riviera, Golden Bay and Saint George’s Bay with my professional snorkelling set (that’s right, I spent more money on useless gadgets Andre’ refuses to be seen with).

Festa’s! Fireworks! Fried food! Maltese summers are all about partying, celebrating religious feasts, walking in the middle of the road holding fried dates in pastry (yuk) and admiring fireworks every night (and even during the day strangely enough). My brother didn’t get that. Neither do I. But let’s face it: the atmosphere is magical.

Al fresco dining, either in fancy restaurants (not this year) or on the balcony, surrounded by mosquitoes I try to repel with stinky citronella sticks. To no avail. The food, in turn, is mouth-watering delicious: home-made sushi, pasta with fresh octopus, tasty vegetable wraps... A good excuse to get rid of the scales.

It’s difficult to describe these great vibes. Malta is truly wonderful in summer. The travel guides don’t lie: Malta, my rock, truly rocks!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Technical faults... not a very creative excuse.

Last week Malta experienced a total blackout. We were left without electricity and water, since that is supplied directly from the reverse osmosis plant, which requires electricity... for ten hours and a half. That’s right! And the reason was the usual, inexplicable "technical fault". As workaholics, all Andre’ and I could think about was finishing translations and reports, missed deadlines and meetings... while everyone else was either at the beach or enjoying a candle-lit dinner on the balcony. Tonight our phone has gone dead. The customer care department of the phone company is closed, so there isn’t much we can do but report the fault and wait. As usual.

Looking back on all the “technical faults” I’ve experienced in my three years (already that long?!) on the rock, I’ve had my share of funny adventures...

When we first moved in together, in a rented flat, we immediately had Andre’s internet connection transferred from his parents’ house to our new (extremely small and ugly) “blue bubble” (I don’t know what got into us renting that thing, every single wall was painted baby blue). After three weeks of angry phone calls, the phone company realised there was still an active connection on that line, operated by a different provider. We tried to contact this provider, we even went to their offices, but there wasn’t much they could do: the previous tenant hadn’t paid his bills and had fled the country (turns out it was some Japanese wacko)... After lots of whining (that would be me!), they finally solved this “technical fault” by suspending the active account. My first taste of Maltese “technical nonsense”!

When we bought this apartment and moved in, parts of the building hadn’t been completed, so no one had noticed there was no common phone box. It took both the contractor and the phone company a fortnight to realise the building was not connected to the main grid. When they finally did, they sent me two technicians who didn’t speak English. All I understood was ‘bejt’, which means roof, so I took them there and had a short conversation on my Maltese lessons, that was as far as my knowledge of Maltese went. After a painful silence, they created a temporary connection, which they then forgot to replace. Until we pointed it out, after many “technical faults”, which slowed down our internet connection...

Just a few months ago we were left without water for four days (that’s right, four days!). In Malta we have water tanks on the roof, which are usually filled automatically, but not when there is a “technical fault”, of course. Luckily, the water company offers a bowser service. The first time we asked them to fill up our tank the workmen struggled a bit to open it, but ultimately managed to supply our much-awaited water. The second time I figured I had become an expert, so I decided to do it myself: tiny blonde girl climbed on the roof and filled up her own tank with a huge hose, while the neighbours were looking on. Girl power!

A short message to Enemalta: be more creative when we phone you to report yet another problem... We’ve had it with “technical faults”. And to GO: as much as I love Maltese, English is an official language in this country... at least teach your technicians some useful keywords, like... I don’t know... “phone” for starters!

PS: to all readers who’ve had it with my sarcasm and criticism, try living in the Med for a while. You’ll discover the most amazing scenery and lifestyle, but the most annoying laissez-faire attitude. Nevertheless, you’ll fall in love with the whole package, despite sometimes feeling slightly frustrated.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Health and safety... sort of

Malta has a track record second to none in health and safety compliance. A few examples of Maltese craftsmanship:
1. How to paint a façade: attach a wooden beam (preferably recycled, we wouldn’t want to waste any precious old doors and pieces of furniture) to two ropes. Get someone (well, preferably two persons, but one will do) to hold the ropes on the roof and slowly (or quickly, depending on how hot it is) slide down the wall. Meanwhile, attempt to paint it. I have witnessed such acrobatic leaps on several occasions and now fully understand why the death toll for construction workers is always on the rise…
2. How to install a wall-mounted toilet with hidden cistern: this design craze is hardly easy to install, as it requires installing the cistern in the shaft, passing the piping through the wall and connecting it to the external drainage system. In short, get someone to hold your feet, or just keep them up in the air while hanging upside down in a narrow shaft, with no support whatsoever. Every time I look at my toilet, I wonder how the plumber managed to install it without killing himself…
3. How to dispose of construction waste: get an enormous skip, leave it in the middle of the road – while illegally blocking traffic of course – and toss anything in (including metal beams and bricks). Don’t worry about pedestrians, they’ll move!
Joking apart, ten days ago there was a horrible fire at Pender Place. Luckily no one was injured, but many apartments had to be evacuated. A few weeks before that, a crane toppled over, nearly causing a catastrophe, as this happened in a densely populated area, close to a school. Electricity cables hang loose in the middle of the pavement, for anyone to touch. Helmets are optional, as are safety shoes and clothing. Working hours are not respected, not to mention basic human rights… Illegal immigrants are paid a fraction of the minimum wage... And the list goes on… I always tell the Maltese: for things to change, you’ve got to make a small effort yourself, because every little helps. When I see something fishy, I talk to the local wardens… who look at me with a suspicious grin. Nevertheless, I’ve done my bit. If only others did the same…

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Amy’s SUMMER ABC for tourists travelling to Malta

A – ALCOHOL. “Language students” (a.k.a. kids who tell their parents they desperately need to learn English in an English-speaking country, but really just want to party in the Med) think it’s ok to get pissed every night and leave cans all over the streets, shout, sing, walk in the middle of the road and… did I mention get pissed? Well kids, it’s NOT ok! I was young once too, but please have some respect!

B – BEACHES. Keep them clean. I don’t particularly enjoy walking on pieces of glass, used condoms and pizza slices. Thanks for your understanding.

C – CISK, our beer. It’s pronounced /tsjisk/. At least TRY to pronounce it correctly.

D – DIVING. I’m too scared to try it, but if you’re a fan, make sure you do it safely. We’ve already had far too many accidents this year – and it’s only June.

E – EXILES, a great beach with a nice atmosphere in Sliema: not to be missed!

F – FREE. Nothing’s free in Malta. If they tell you it’s free, there’s a catch, so beware!

G – GOZO. No trip to Malta is complete without a stopover on our sister island. Enjoy the peace and tranquillity...

H – HOTELS. Their rates are very competitive, but why not try something different, like a farmhouse with a pool or a house of character overlooking Grand Harbour?

I – INTERNET ACCESS. Not bad, but not spectacular. Power cuts and internet malfunctions are quite common, especially in summer. Be prepared!

J – JELLYFISH. There’s plenty of them this year, so be careful. A “Friends” episode suggests peeing on the skin to relieve the pain caused by a sting, but I suggest sticking to ammonia pens.

K – KINNIE, the best drink in the world! Try it!

L – LEFT. We drive on the left. Most of the time anyway.

M – MDINA, definitely worth a visit. Remember it’s called “the Silent City”: try to keep it that way, that’s part of its magic.

N – NAP, as in siesta. Many shops close between 1 and 4 pm. Why not have a little nap while waiting from them to open? That’s what most of us end up doing when the heat becomes unbearable.

O – ODD. While walking around in Malta, you might discover lots of odd sites and scenes. Keep you camera handy.

P – PASTIZZI: you can call them “cheesecakes” as well. Available with ricotta or pea filling.

Q - This is a glottal stop in Maltese, but if you’re not sure about the pronunciation, don’t stay in Qrendi or Qormi, but find accommodation in a locality you can pronounce!

R – ROADS. I’ve blogged about it before and I’ll keep repeating it until the ADT does something about it: potholes, bloody potholes. Drive SLOWLY and keep your eyes on the road surface!

S – STUDYING. Many come here to study English, but very few succeed. Choose your school carefully and attend your lectures. It’s very easy to get trapped in the party lifestyle Maltese summers are famous for…

T – TOURIST OFFICE. It’s in Valletta, next to City Gate and offers lots of information, including brochures and free maps. Check it out!

U – U-TURNS. The Maltese are not the best drivers and U-turns are their favourite manoeuvre, so careful if you rent a car!

V – VALLETTA. Discover the magic of the “city built by gentlemen for gentlemen”. Wear comfortable shoes (you’ll understand why once you get there).

W – WAVES. When they’re high, they’re REALLY high and DANGEROUS. This one goes out to those who think they can swim when the MET Office tells us not to: they’re not joking! Our armed forces are very busy intercepting illegal immigrants, so please do not distract them.

X – it’s pronounced /sj/ in Maltese. Remember this once and for all when trying to explain you’re looking for the bus to Xemxija, Marsaxlokk or Ta’ Xbiex!

Y – YACHT MARINAS. You don’t need to have a boat to enjoy them: Portomaso is the place to be for a glass of wine or a romantic meal overlooking rich people’s yachts.

Z – ZEST in Spinola Bay. It’s rumoured to be the best sushi restaurant on the island. Haven’t tried it yet, but I’m tempted to do so very, very soon!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Turning a house into a home

Our apartment is slowly taking shape… We no longer have a heap of shoes in front of the door, but now (try to) neatly store our footwear in a shoe cabinet, which took four hours to assemble on a cold winter evening (not sure our neighbours enjoyed the hammering, but it was definitely a bonding experience as a couple). We have a custom-made sideboard (made by Andre’s dad!) packed with papers I never get round to sorting. The kitchen now has an oven cloth hook and several matching fruit baskets (sounds silly, but makes the counter look very organised). And… we ordered a new sofa: a huge leather U-shaped 6-seater with chaise longue, which should be delivered in August (I would like to highlight “should” here, because you never know, the Italy-Malta trip could take up to six months as well, considering the waves and all that…).

Malta’s not the ideal place to buy furniture. The selection is very limited (everyone ends up with the same stuff, in different colours if one's lucky) and delivery times are atrociously long. And since everything needs to be shipped, there’s the occasional shipping damage. One of our kitchen cabinets was damaged on its voyage from il bel paese and took weeks to be replaced, delaying the counter top delivery and leaving us with a piece of chipboard as makeshift counter for months. Not a tragedy since my cooking skills are very limited, but not aesthetically pleasing either.

And then there’s my plants… In the past, I never had a thing for plants. I did have a cactus on my PC tower as a teenager, but that’s as far as it went: tiny and low-maintenance. Now I have a lemon tree on the balcony, a ficus benjamina in a stylish grey pot, a spider plant, a yucca palm tree and lots of unnamed plants (not because they’re new species, but simply because I don’t remember what they’re called). I think plants brighten up a room and add that touch of class. Unless your dog chews off all the leaves that is.

We’ve still got a long way to go as far as furnishing and decorating is concerned. And a lot depends on – once again – the centre of our universe: the little hairy one. If and when Gizmo learns to behave, we can finally buy a nice carpet (at the moment the black devil is into running off with the kitchen carpet), put our plant pots on the floor (instead of finding a spot for them on every cabinet, which may one day even collapse under the weight) and sit on soft, high-quality chairs (thankfully we didn’t spend a fortune on our current chairs, because last year Gizmo chewed one of them, which I managed to replace, although it took great effort because production had been discontinued).

In short, turning a house into a home doesn’t happen overnight. Especially when you live in Malta with a furry destroyer lab…

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Summer bliss, allergy amiss

I’ve been a bit busy these last few days doing… nothing really. It’s amazing how a person can let an entire day go by without doing anything productive. I had two days off last week and decided to watch TV, relax in the sun, walk Gizmo, tidy up and clean (a little, no let me rephrase: too little). Then I got an awful allergy (probably because of all the tidying and cleaning), which stubbornly keeps haunting me… I spend my days sneezing, wheezing, coughing and drying my puffy, watery eyes.

On Friday Andre’ and I decided to go to Paradise Bay, my absolute favourite: a tiny beach up north with breathtaking views and crystal-clear water (which, at 20°C, was still too cold for my liking). Last year my first trip to the beach was in March, but this year summer decided to keep us waiting… to explode with a bang: 32°C with humidity levels that make even the sleekest hair frizz.

On Sunday we went to the Earth and Garden festival, a great initiative to promote a cleaner environment through recycling and care for nature. The lighting, music, stalls and art exhibitions created a magical atmosphere, which was only disrupted by the – how shall I put this? – somewhat “alternative” smells, which were everything but family-friendly and welcoming.

This is how summer starts in Malta: swimming, relaxing and lots of festivals and village “festas”. I’m working on my tan and dreaming of my first “real” swim of 2009… maybe this weekend? Fingers crossed.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Translation @ home

My job can be summarised in two words, one of which is a personal pronoun, so it doesn’t really contribute to the job description: I translate. People often ask me what that entails, apart from the obvious, literal meaning of the word. Well, I’m a communication expert. I ensure marketing material becomes accessible to different cultures, I contribute to EU campaigns, I inform the press of new products and events in their native language, I correct managers’ often disappointing linguistic masterpieces... And I enjoy it!

My description is often met with incredulity, because, let’s face it, it’s not the most adventurous of jobs. But it is challenging. And mentally exhausting, trust me.

Andre’ and I often argue because he thinks translating can’t be all that hard. After all, I don’t have meetings with ministers, I don’t need to attend conferences and business breakfasts (and enjoy the complimentary catering!), I am never asked to write lengthy reports on the state of the economy and most importantly, I don’t work in an overcrowded office.

True. But I work from home, for God's sake! All alone. With no supervision. Without my incredible time management skills and discipline, I’d be lazying around all day. Instead, I start working an hour early to go through my translations and correct anything that doesn’t sound or look right and occasionally I even work at weekends, just to give it my all.

Languages are my big passion. I adore communication in all its forms. So working on my own is quite a feat: no colleagues to have a chat with, no coffee breaks in the staff room… And still, I think this was the best career move ever. Simply because I enjoy it. And that’s what counts at the end of the day.

This short post is just a little reminder for all of us: it doesn’t matter what you do or where you do it, as long as you enjoy it. Criticising or questioning others’ career choices is pointless, because everyone has different goals and ambitions. You should always follow your dream and showcase your talents.... Wherever it suits you best.